Plucking up the courage to have THAT conversation with your manager?
"I've been here long enough. I deserve more recognition."
"I'm doing just as much as everyone else, if not more. So why are they getting paid better than me?"
"I know where I want to be next. I just need to make it happen."
Whichever one you're sitting on, the best version of that conversation will only come from preparing for it.
And that's exactly where the work begins.
Whatever your reason, it's worth knowing that there is definitely a wrong way to do this, many ways to deliver it, and some strong ways to prepare.
I think it's fair to say that most of us suffer the apprehension that comes with the thought of justifying ourselves to our boss. Second guessing the questions we'll face. Developing pre-emptive answers we hope will shut down any further questioning.
But that's their job. Not to be your friend in that moment, but to understand the gravity of what you have to say.
So before you even think about having that conversation, let's make sure you're coming from the right place.
If you want to broach a topic like an increase or a promotion, unfortunately, no matter how much you think you deserve it, just because you've been there a while isn't enough. But that's where we start.
What you have to do is go deeper into your reason for deserving that boost. Think about how you would frame what makes you different than before. You may know more now, but how are you applying that knowledge? Are you performing your tasks better, producing more, standing out from those around you, taking on more responsibility?
Understanding what your manager values and how you fit that will make for a much easier conversation. Because if you want to be better compensated, you have to actually be worth more.
Let's say you have a gardener. Someone to clean fallen leaves, mow your lawn, maybe cut back a bush or two. Now, even if that gardener has been working for you for 5 years, how would you respond if they said:
"You know how I've been working for you for the last 5 years? Well, in that time I've learned how to de-weed, trim trees, and have experience from managing other gardens. So I want to put my prices up... for the same work."
I'm fairly certain you would have something to say about paying more for the same service.
This is likely to be how your manager or employer is going to feel.
But what if that same gardener came to you and said:
"You know how I've been working for you for the last 5 years? In that time I've learned how to de-weed, trim trees, and have experience from managing other gardens. Do you see how much better your garden looks now I've put that knowledge to use, trimming trees, pulling weeds, and generally making a better job in a similar time? I'm happy to continue working this way, but I will have to raise the price a little. It will still be in line with the cost of other gardeners of the same ability, and I know you and your garden well, which would be an added bonus if I could continue this with you."
It's obvious when written down. But so many of us fail to explain the benefits and why that's worth more, over why we just deserve it.
This will have resonated with some of you. But there are some saying right now, "but I'm not a gardener," "that's not the same thing," "I work for a company that can afford it."
Whichever one you are, just know that it is the same. Your employer is paying you for your services and to do a job. Just like the gardener.
At this point I've helped you to understand that a conversation with your manager needs to go beyond a "give me more money" conversation. But I've not talked about reflecting on the you part of deserving better compensation.
If you don't honestly reflect on some of my earlier points (do you do more than your peers, is your work of a higher standard now, have you developed more desirable skills) then you will be going into any conversation under prepared and incapable of defending the extra value you bring.
By reflecting, you will also be confirming to yourself that you are worth more, but do this against the measure of your manager or employer.
If you cannot honestly meet their expectations then all is not lost, as you have now identified the gaps you must close before going into battle.
Once you have reflected and have a clear understanding of what you are going to target, you need to define two values: how much remuneration for your effort you would be willing to accept, and how much you think your employer would accept.
When thinking about what your employer would accept, you usually have signals to lead you. Peers who do the same as you where salaries are known. A payment structure that outlines progression and pay awards. Market research where you look to the internet to build a comparison based on industry standards for what you do, or job adverts for like roles where salary or reward package is stated. Directly linking how your working better is generating more business income or profit, and associating a percentage of that to your salary.
All of these must lead to quantifiable figures based on fact. If you cannot find anything, we might need a chat, but all is not lost as you can still think about what you are willing to accept and use that. It will be harder to justify, but not impossible.
Assuming your research has yielded results, you simply need to work out any potential increase to your salary by looking at the difference to what you earn now and decide if this is enough against what you were hoping. Even if supported by your research, the UK average for performance merit is typically between 5 and 10%. You may have to be prepared to reduce your expectations if your gap to industry is significantly more. Again, it's not impossible to ask for more, but the argument becomes a little trickier.
If your research has not helped and you were unable to benchmark yourself, then you can use the average performance merit as your starting point. Would you accept 5 to 10%? If so, then you just need to use your earlier identified target points as justification.
Once more, if you feel you deserve more than the average, it's not impossible, but you will have work to do to justify it.
By this point you have:
What you've built
Committed yourself to a value conversation with your manager or employer.
Thought about the perspective of who you will speak to and how they are likely to receive your argument.
Reflected on the points you will use to justify why you are worth more.
Aligned your reflections to your manager's or employer's perspective.
Quantified the actual value of your skills using industry research.
Agreed with yourself the level of remuneration you are happy to accept.
These are all the key building blocks of your conversation. The order and structure to use, so all you need now is a plan of how, when and where to have your conversation. This is something we cover in detail during our coaching sessions.
Having the conversation is often the part that feels the hardest. But if you've worked through everything above, you're not walking in unprepared. You're walking in with clarity, evidence, and a position you can stand behind.
That's not something most people do. And it makes all the difference.
Remember, I'm here to help you move forward. Not by telling you something you don't already know, but by being the voice that helps you hear it clearly. If that sounds like what you need, let's talk.